Tuesday 3 November 2015

Holidays 2016 Analysis

Holidays 2016 analysed

Let's see the highlights of 2016.......

A.

March
05/03- Saturday
06/03-Sunday
07/03- Maha Shivratri

25/03-Good Friday
26/03- Saturday
27/03-Sunday

April
14/04- Dr. Ambedkar Jayanti
15/04-Ram Navami
16/04- Saturday
17/04-Sunday

August
13/08-Saturday
14/08-Sunday
15/08-Independence Day

September
03/09- Saturday
04/09-Sunday
05/09- Ganesh chaturthi

10/09-Saturday
11/09-Sunday
12/09-Bakrid

November
12/11-Saturday
13/11-Sunday
14/11-Guru Nanak Jayanti

December
10/12-Saturday
11/12-Sunday
12/12-Eid-e-Milad

B.
3 consecutive holidays with the help of 1 Casual Leave sandwiched between the
2 holidays is not a rare thing these days.
But 4 consecutive holidays
once and 5 consecutive holidays once in an year with the help of only 1 CL
in between is just a real bonus.

January
23/01-Saturday
24/01-Sunday
25/01-CL
26/01-Republic Day

October
08/10-Saturday
09/10-Sunday
10/10-CL
11/10-Dussehra
12/10-Moharrum

C.
There are 5 Saturdays in Jan, Apr, Jul, Oct, Dec
And
5 Sundays in Jan,May, Jul, Oct.

D.
Following 3 holidays fall on Sunday i.e.,
02/10-Gandhi Jayanti
30/10- Diwali
25/12-Christmas

Wednesday 7 October 2015

RBI Credit Policy discussion by Santa and Banta

Santa: I have heard recently that Mr. Rajan has reduced Repo Rate by 50 basis points and everyone is saying that this is good for the market. Loan EMI may also come down. What is this rate cut means actually? I want to understand this.

Banta: To understand this you first need to know, how does a bank function.

Santa: Why?

Banta: Because all these are inter-related. Tell me – what does a bank do?

Santa: Bank takes money from depositors and gives loan to earn interest. That way they keep everyone happy and make a profit also.

Banta: Correct, but there are more to it. Let me explain this in a very simplistic way. Bank needs money. Bank can get money from depositors like you and me and also from RBI. But bank also needs to pay certain interest to us and also to RBI.

Santa: Ok.

Banta: Let us try to understand first – what happens when we deposit, say, Rs. 100 with a bank.

Santa: I know that. Bank gives that Rs. 100 to someone who needs a loan.

Banta: No, it is not that simple. Remember, though bank can earn interest by giving away loans, but it is also very risky. There are many cases of loan defaults. This way banks can put all our money into high risk areas. It has to be protected.

Santa: How?

Banta: Ok, RBI has made it mandatory that upon receiving, say, Rs. 100 – banks first have to deposit Rs. 4 with RBI. RBI keeps this Rs. 4 in its current a/c and hence banks do not receive any interest on this money. This is known as Cash Reserve Ratio or CRR, which is currently at 4%.

Santa: Hmmm, then?

Banta: RBI has also made it mandatory that upon receiving, say, Rs. 100 – banks need to compulsorily buy central and state govt. securities of Rs. 21.50. Of course banks will earn some interest income here. This is known as Statutory Liquidity Ratio (SLR), which is currently at 21.50%.

Santa: Ok, so you mean to say that upon receiving Rs. 100, banks can spend only Rs. 74.50 at its own will.

Banta: Correct. 100 – (4 + 21.50) = 100 – 25.50 = 74.50

Santa: But you were saying that banks can also borrow from RBI. What interest banks pay to RBI?

Banta: Before 30th September, banks were paying 8.25% interest to RBI when it borrows money from RBI. Now this rate has been reduced by 50 basis points. So banks now need to pay interest to RBI, if it borrows from RBI, at the rate of 7.75%. This is known as Repo Rate.

Santa: Can fixed deposit rate be affected by reduction of Repo Rate?

Banta: Of course. If banks get money from RBI @7.75%, why will banks pay higher interest to you and me? One year FD rate is already revised by many banks and it is equal to or very close to 7.75%.

Santa: But as now banks are getting money at a cheaper rate, then they should reduce the loan interest rate i.e. passing on the benefits it receives.

Banta: Correct. They should. And on that hope market is cheering. If companies get loan at a cheaper rate, they will likely to expand their businesses. That will create more jobs, more income and boost the economy.

Santa: How is inflation linked to this?

Banta: See, when loan becomes cheaper, people tends to borrow more. That means people will have more money to spend. This will increase the demand for goods, and if supply does not increase to match this demand, then prices will increase.

Santa: So there is a chance, that inflation may rise also?

Banta: Well, yes. But inflation depends on many other factors as well, like production (industrial and agricultural), manufacturing, export – import, foreign currency movement etc. So inflation may increase or may not.

Santa: One last question. Like we deposit our money with banks, can banks also deposit their money with someone?

Banta: Yes, they can deposit with RBI and earn interest too. This interest is typically 1% less than the repo rate. This rate is known as Reverse Repo Rate.

Santa: Great! So now I understand CRR, SLR, Repo Rate, Reverse Repo Rate and their impact on deposit rate, loan interest rate and on inflation. Thanks.

Banta: Welcome!

Thursday 1 October 2015

Laloo English Joke Meme

Joke of the year 2015 - Laloo teaching his children spelling of assassination. One ass behind another ass, behind that I, and behind me the whole nation.. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

Tuesday 25 August 2015

Top 10 school teacher dialogues

Only for those who enjoyed their school life๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

Top 10 Dialogs of teachers ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿ™
๐Ÿ‘‰ If you are not interested then you may leave the class.
๐Ÿ‘‰ This class is worse than a fish market.
๐Ÿ‘‰ Are you here to waste your parents money?
๐Ÿ‘‰ Tell me when you all have finished talking.
๐Ÿ‘‰ Why are u laughing? Come here n tell us we'll also laugh.
๐Ÿ‘‰ Do you think teachers are fools to teach you?
๐Ÿ‘‰ Don't try to act oversmart with me.
๐Ÿ‘‰ Why do u come to school when you don't want to study.
๐Ÿ‘‰ The previous batch was 100 times better than yours.
๐Ÿ‘‰ If you want to talk then u may get out from the class.

And the best one
๐Ÿ‘‰ You yes you... I am talking to you only, don't look back.. ๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ˜„
.
.
.
.muje pata h last line padh k tum log k mu pe smile jarur ayi hogi
Ye hum sab ka Bachpan tha ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜†
Aur yeh last wali line pe jo hota tha na, uski shakal duniya ki sabse bholi shakal ho jaati thi....

Moto GP Desi Version

Himalayan Golden Peaks

Himalayan golden peaks occur only 10 min. A day. Photo of kedarnath temple taken yesterday by one of Geologist๐Ÿ‘‡

Monday 24 August 2015

Joke about sensex falling 1625 points

Nifty Fut low today 7771... three 7s in it too (shemitah 7*7 effect)
--------------------
Jallianwala bagh massacre suna tha... Aaj dekh liya
--------------------
If you get call from any unknown number than don't pick up. It might be your broker.
--------------------
Buy liquor stock.... Today all bars will be full๐Ÿ˜„
--------------------
The biggest sale of Rakshabandhan on BSE NSE
Better deals than amazon, snapdeal and flipkart....
--------------------
High alert on all Indian internatinal airports...
koi bhi FII bhag ne na Paaye......
๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜„
#Sensexdrops -1625pts (-6%)

Friday 24 July 2015

Message to Indian Prime Minister on gas subsidy

Why, I will not waive my gas subsidy

Mangalore Today News Network

An Open Letter to the Prime Minister
By SUMITH S. RAO

Respected Sir:

You have asked the rich and affluent people of India to waive off their share of subsidy on gas cylinders used by them in their homes and help in nation building.

I, for one would definitely prescribe to your view and gladly do so. In return, I would like all of you esteemed gentlemen and ladies who run our great country to also reciprocate our generous offer.

If only, every corporator, MLA, MP, and Minister could also waive off his gas subsidy, we the people of India would be very proud of you and salute you.

You would be setting an example to the citizens of India. Most of you have declared incomes running into a few crores while contesting the elections.

When will the day come when you will think of our poor brethren and waive off all the perks that you enjoy because of your position.

When will you stop voting unanimously for a pay hike for yourselves, while bitterly fighting against all other issues in Parliament?

When will we see you act as responsible citizens and fight over issues rather than take party based decisions?

Let me tell you, dear Sir, the Chancellor of a super power like Germany Ms. Angela Merkel rides on a public train to work, whereas in our country everyone from the Prime Minister, to the Members of Parliament, even down to the Zilla Panchayat President is allocated a car which is paid for from the coffers of our country which is filled generously by the tax payers money.

You incur thousands of rupees worth of telephone bills, electricity bills, free accommodation in luxury bungalows, avail free travel on public transportation, go on foreign jaunts on flimsy excuses and we the people of India pay for it.

When will you be a proud Indian and pay for all these facilities availed by you?

You get admitted to luxury hospitals for even a headache and especially when a probe is launched against you for any misdemeanor. Even there, you get the best beds and facilities free of charge.

Pray, tell me, Sir "When will you pay for these privileges?"

You travel in air conditioned railway coaches and fly first class in planes even when you are not on official duty. It is us, the citizens of India who pay the fare for you.

Everyone, who is anybody, stakes his claim to fame by clamouring for "Z Class" security when the actual risk assessment for that person is zero. We, the people of India pay a fortune for your security.

Alas, what a travesty of our times. That you who should be protecting the nation are being protected by the common man at his cost.

There are people in India who cannot even afford one meal a day and do not even have the strength to complain about it. Sadly, while you enjoy a cup of coffee bought at a princely sum of Rupees One or a full meal at Rupees Twelve at the Parliament canteen in air conditioned comfort and cannot be bothered about these trivial issues.

When shall you pay the full cost of a meal without passing on the bill to your countrymen?

Sir, I am just an ordinary citizen of India who dutifully pays his Income tax, Service Tax, Value Added Tax, Wealth Tax, Corporation Tax, Automobile Registration Tax and Property Tax which goes up to nearly 50 percent of our hard earned money while you enjoy the benefits of these taxes and live a privileged life because every citizen of India pays for your privileges.

The day all of you forego and waive all the unnecessary perquisites bestowed upon you by laws enacted by you would be a proud one in our nation's history.

The day, you gentlemen who have been elected to power by the people to govern our nation become responsible citizens of INDIA will be a milestone in our history. That day, all of us will definitely waive off our gas subsidy.

Yours sincerely,

An honest and dutiful citizen.

Sumith S. Rao is a well known city based businessman and a former President of the District Small Scale Industries Association.

Note:- Please circulate, so it reaches the PM.
Dear Citizens

Forward this msg to a minimum of twenty people on your contact list; and in turn ask each of them to do likewise.

In three days, most people in India will have this message.
This is one idea that really should be passed around.

*Reform Act of 2014*

1. No Tenure / No Pension: Parliamentarians collect a salary while in office but should not receive any pay when they're out of office.

2. Parliamentarians should purchase their own retirement plans, just as all Indians do.

3. Parliamentarians should no longer vote themselves a pay raise. Their pay should be linked to the CPI or 3%, whichever is lower.

4. Parliamentarians should lose their current health care system and participate in the same health care system as the Indian people.

5. Parliamentarians with tainted records, criminal charges & convictions, past or present should be summarily banned from the parliament and fighting election on any pretext or the other.
6. Parliamentarians should equally abide by all laws they impose on the Indian people.

7. All contracts with past and present Parliamentarians should be void effective 1/1/15
The Indian people did not make this contract with them. Parliamentarians made all these contracts for themselves.

Serving in Parliament is an honor, not a lucrative career. The Founding Fathers envisioned citizen legislators, so ours should serve their term(s), then go home and back to work.

No surrender of subsidies like LPG by citizens unless all subsidies available to MPs and MLAs withdrawn including subsidised food in Parliament canteen

If each person contacts a minimum of twenty people then it will only take three days for most people in India to receive the message. Don't you think it's time?

If you agree with the above, pass it on. If not, just delete.

You are one of my 20+ - Please keep it going, and thanks.

๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ก

Monday 20 July 2015

Gas subsidy IVR options

If any body is booking gas via Mobile please be careful when IVR asks you press 0 which stands for cancelling subsidy Wait for next message and press 1 to book a gas cylinder Or you will end up losing subsidy. Pl spread this widely

Confirmed update

Tuesday 14 July 2015

Music director MSV dead

Well-known southern composer M.S. Viswanathan died at a private hospital in Chennai this morning. He was 87.

MSV, as he's fondly called by the members of Tamil filmdom, had been undergoing treatment at Fortis Malar hospital for old-age related ailments and breathing problem.

Though he had showed signs of recovery after initial treatment and was almost ready to be taken back home, his condition deteriorated last week.

He breathed his last at 4.15 on Tuesday.

Emperor of Cine Music

Popular for composing music in Tamil, Telugu and Malayalam industries, MSV has over 750 films to his credit.

He started his career as composer for 1952 film Tamil "Panam" starring Sivaji Ganeshan.

MSV is popular for his collaboration with fellow composer T.K. Ramamoorthy. The duo composed music for 86 Tamil films during their association of over a decade.

Having started composing together in 1952, they split up in 1965. Some of their best films include "Paasamalar", "Sumaithaangi", "Server Sundaram", "Aayirathil Oruvan" and "Enga Veetu Pillai".

Post the separation, MSV went on to become more successful.

Viswanathan's solo hits include "Bama Vijayam", "Galatta Kalyanam", "Deivamagan", "Moondru Dheivangal", "Rickshawkarana, "Bharatha Vilas" and "Ulagam Sutrum Valibana.

Popularly known as 'king of light music' (Mellisai Mannar), Vishwanathan has also worked in Malayalam films such as "Manthrakodi", "Babu Mon", "Ullasa Yathra" and "Amme Anupame".

In Telugu, his compositions include "Tenali Ramakrishna", "Anthuleni Kathaa, "Idhi Katha Kaadu", "Aakali Rajyam" and "Maro Charitra".

MSV and legendary filmmaker K. Balachander combination has produced several evergreen classics.

Viswanathan's wife Janaki died in 2012. A year later, his best friend and composer T.K. Ramamurthy breathed his last.

He is a recipient of Kalamamani and several other music awards.

Monday 13 July 2015

Joke on Arnab Goswami

This was ultimate... joke of the decade

Here's Santa @ His Best:

Santa calls up TOI Chairman Vineet Jain....

Santa: "I want to be the news anchor in place‪ of ‎Arnab Goswami‬ on TimesNow"
Vineet Jain : "Are you an idiot??"
Santa: "Why?? is it Compulsory???"
๐Ÿ˜ณ๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€

Friday 10 July 2015

Using work phone

A damn good one! ๐Ÿ‘‡

The phone bill was exceptionally high. Man called a family meeting to discuss.

Dad: This is unacceptable. I don't use home phone, I use my work phone.

Mum: Me too. I hardly use home phone. I use my companies phone

Son: I use my office mobile, I never use the home phone.

All of them shocked and together looked at the maid who's patiently listening to them.

Maid: "What? So we all use our work phones. What's the Big deal??
๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜†

Marriage in 2050

Some things will never change ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜‚...

Year: 2050

Rakesh : Mom i wanna marry Arun

Mom : that's not possible

Rakesh : but mom! Same gender marriages are legal now

Mom : but he's not of our caste.
๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜œ

Thursday 9 July 2015

Frustrated husband - my wife is a distant cousin of Nathuram Godse

Frustrated husband : I seriously think that my wife is a distant cousin of Nathuram Godse.

Friend: Y do u think so??

Frustrated husband: She has been systematically eliminating all Gandhijis frm my wallet! !..
๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿ˜

Stats which prove why Sachin Tendulkar is the best in world cricket

Thursday 4 June 2015

How Indian politicians play with words

: Reporter:- PM sir; which fruit do you like?

Modi:- Apple

Reporter:- Breaking news---
Modi does not like Mangoes; Banana; Peru; etc.
Let's ask Congress their views on this.

Manish Tewari:- Modi like Apple means Red color.
This means he likes bloodshed
This means he does not want peace and harmony in the country

Ahmed Patel:- This means Modi is only promoting Hindutva.
He does not like green fruits means he is against Muslims.
This clearly shows Modi has no feelings for Muslims.

Nitish Kumar:- This attitude of Modi is what made us split from NDA

Rahul Gandhi:- Modi never says which chocolate he likes.
The Nation has the right to know this.

Sonia Gandhi:- People of India please ask from where
Modi is going to get the money to buy such an expensive fruit.

Geelani:- This is Modi's tactic to usurp Kashmir.
We will not allow this to happen.

Yechuri:- Selecting an expensive fruit like Apple shows Modi is pro- capitalist

Kejriwal:- Traditionally Mango is considered the King of Fruits.
Modi is anti tradition. This is against the interest of the aam aadmi.

Laloo Prasad:- Yeh Modiya to bimaar hai.
Apple khanae say theek nahi hoga

Foreign Media:- Modi's communal policies are hurting the secular fabric of India.


Sent from my iPhone

Breaking news on Maggi noodles relating to girls cooking

Breaking news:
After ban on Maggie, ๐Ÿ
90% girls on matrimony sites removed "cooking" as a hobby/expertise.
๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

Maggi noodles by Nestle Banned Meme

Maggi noodles by Nestle Banned Meme

Tuesday 26 May 2015

Sunday 17 May 2015

Joke on Jayalalitha house comparing with Obama

JAYALALITA went to OBAMA house
JAYALALITA: Epdy Ivalo periya veedu kattuninga? ..
OBAMA: Anga thoorathula oru bridge theriyutha? ...
JAYALALITA: Ammam theriyuthu. ...
OBAMA: Atha kattum pothu adicha kaasula katinean

OBAMA went to JAYALALITA house
OBAMA: Ennoda veedu vida perusa irrukkae, Eppadi Ivalo periya veedu kattuninga? ...
JAYALALITA: Anga thoorathula oru bridge theriyutha?...
OBAMA: illayae !!!!
JAYALALITA: Anga bridge Katta vendiya kaasula katinean.
Goyala" Yaar kitta".....๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

Salman khan's hit and run case joke

Outside the court,
Salman's car was surrounded by media and not letting him go...

So he got into the driver's seat and everyone ran away...
๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€

How fast weekend flies

Friday 8 May 2015

Notice on entry gate of an Apple Store in NY

Don't ever fart here;
the smell will stay for ages.
We don't have Windows." ๐Ÿ˜‚

And tit for tat from Microsoft :-

"Anyone visiting us is free to use Windows in case of need to release stale gas from yesterday's half eaten apple.
We have been providing open window system to the world since ages." ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜‚

Why Indians are not served drinks in aeroplane.

Anybody reading this should know Tamil to understand the joke better

Why they hesitate to serve alcohol for Indians in-flight - In an Aeroplane, after a series of 4-5 ๐Ÿป๐Ÿบ heavy drinks:

British ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ง
: I will sleep now.

American ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ : I want to work on internet.

German ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช : I will watch movies now.

Chinese ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ณ : I will listen to music now.

Indian ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ณ : Navvurra, Naa otraen plane'a.!! ✈ ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

Salman Khan released on bail. Joins Sanjay dutts league

Wednesday 6 May 2015

These players never played for India after taking a bike ride with MSD

Joke about wife checking husbands mobile number

> Wife checks husbands mobile and find all girls numbers saved in the following order
>
> New bird
> Neighbour bird
> Old bird
> Upstair bird
> Hospital bird
> Insurance bird
> College bird
> Super market bird
>
> Finally she checks her name. and it was saved as
>
> Angry bird" ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ˜ญ

Tuesday 5 May 2015

The Frustated Indian Office Mahabharata

Dronacharya – The Mentor. The employee who doesn't like working himself but is always ready to guide and train new joiners.

Bhishma – The Loyal. The employee in a relatively senior position who happily assists the boss in spite of knowing his incompetence (because of some strange oath maybe)

Dhritarashtra – The blind boss. He knows that everything is wrong with his project but will still let it function, without making any changes to the current processes

Gandhari – The Yesmen/Women. Boss's immediate juniors who know that they are a part of an evil plan but will stay blindfolded and pretend as if nothing is happening

Yuddhisthira – The ethical guy. Poor chap would never fudge timesheets and call in sick only when he is dying

Bheema – The angry resource. Always ready to pick up a fight with his peers, subordinates or even the bosses

Arjuna – The cool dude. The star performer who also knows how to sell his skills. A natural charmer, very famous among the ladies

Nakul & Sahdev – The good average resource. No one notices them. They keep doing their work and get average appraisals

Duryodhana – The Bully. Knows how to get work done, by hook or by crook. Doesn't mind threatening the likes of Nakul and Sahdev to get his work done.

Karna – The unsung hero. The best performer in the office but never claims credit for his work. Stays an unsung hero for all his life. Girls take him for a snobbish nerd.

Shakuni – The evil plotter. Copies management in every mail. Escalates every trivial issue, sometimes to take credits and sometimes purely for fun

Dhristadyumna – The One inning wonder. The one who performs an extraordinary feat, and then basks in the glory of it for the rest of his life.

Draupadi – The shared resource. Keeps hopping projects on boss's advice

Krishna – The Ultimate Boss (PM/CTO/CEO) who knows that it is his game while he makes everyone believe that they are playing important roles too

Monday 4 May 2015

nice speech by Zimbabwean President Robert Mugabe

Quoting from Asia Africa Conference 2015 Jakarta, nice speech by Zimbabwean President Robert Mugabe: "Racism will never end as long as white cars are stil using black tyres. Racism will never end if people still use black to symbolise bad luck and white for peace. Racism will never end if people still wear white clothes to weddings and black clothes to funerals. Racism will never end as long as those who don't pay their bills are blacklisted not whitelisted. Even when playing snooker. You haven't won until you've sunk the black ball, and the white ball must remain on the table. But I don't care, so long as I'm still using white toilet paper to wipe my black ass, I'm fine!"

Friday 24 April 2015

Joke about Mumbai Indians not winning any matches in IPL 2015

Judge: Do you want to stay with your mom?
Child: No. She beats me.
.
Judge: Then do you want to stay with your dad?
Child: No. He too beats me
.
Judge: Do you want to stay with your grandparents?
Child: No, they also beat me.
.
Judge: Ok. So do you want to stay with your uncle?
Child: No. They beat me too
.
Judge: Ok. So tell me who you want to stay with?
Child: I want to stay with

Mumbai Indians.
They dont beat anybody

๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

Nehra vs Kholi CSK vs RCB 22nd April 2015 IPL

Amitabh family in Prabhus house during Kalyan jewellers opening in chennai

Amitabh family in Prabhus house during Kalyan jewellers opening in chennai

Girls vs Boys -Before and After Marriage